Everything Shiny and New
by relativestranger
Summary: Just Erza and Gray things. Rated for safety; rating may change in the future.
1. Feburary: The Best You've Ever Had

**Chapter One: Best You've Ever Had**

"Oh, come on! You mean to tell me that you don't like it? _At all_?"  
"That is in fact what I'm saying."  
"And that there isn't a single redeeming component that you could possibly, maybe, sort of like?"  
"I admit that it is an interesting concept. But no. I think it's awful."  
"Wow... Wow, I can't believe how wrong you are. How did I not know this? You know what this means, right? It means we can no longer be friends. We just can't. It's outrageous. That is just… blasphemy." She rolled her eyes at his ramblings.  
"I am not wrong. I just don't like it."  
"You must be doing something wrong."  
"I am not doing something wrong! It's not something you can do wrong!"  
"Oh, you'd be surprised. You have tried it, right?"  
She rolled her eyes again, "Of course I have. That's how I know that I don't like it!"  
"When?"  
"I don't know... 3, maybe 4 years ago?"  
"And you've only tried it that one time?"  
"Believe me, once was enough."  
"You can't have an informed opinion on something after just one time!"  
"I can. And I have."  
He groaned at her dismissal and wanted to tear his hair out in frustration.

A few moments later, his eyes lit up, "I'm going to prove you wrong."  
She sighed heavily and shook her head. "No, no. I _will_ prove you wrong. I will prove you so wrong that you'll be begging for seconds."  
"That seems sufficiently doubtful."  
"Nope. I'm about to blow your mind." He stepped in front of her, his hands on his hips and chest confidently puffed up, and boldly declared, "Erza Scarlet, prepare for the single most amazing experience in your life."

* * *

She stood in the aisle, her darting eyes following him back and forth. "…What are we doing here?"  
"Well, I gotta prepare, don't I?"  
"Prepare? Prepare what?"  
"Stop asking so many questions. You'll find out soon enough."  
"I don't like where this is going."  
"It's nothing bad. I swear."  
He scanned the shelves briefly, "do you like spicy?  
She shrugged, "I guess."  
"You like potatoes?"  
"Wait, Gray, are you going to cook?"  
"Why do you think we're here?"  
"You can cook?"  
"I wouldn't call it cooking… Curry is the only thing I can make. I mean, it's the best damn curry you will ever taste but it's still just the one." He paused and contemplated, "and chicken soup." He quickly looked up at Erza, panic evident in his eyes, "Don't tell Mira."  
She chuckled deeply, "I make no promises."  
"Too cruel, Erza."

* * *

"What... in fresh hell is this, Gray?"  
His face scrunched up in such a way that it looked like a sour fart hit him in the face, "It's not that bad."  
"It looks like a pack of mountain vulcans nested here."  
"Okay, that hurts. Really, really hurts." She began to putter about. "What are you doing?"  
"What does it look like?"  
"Erza, stop. You don't have to clean. You're a guest. I invited you over for dinner. Dinner guests don't clean up."  
"Someone has to. How long will it take for you to make the curry?"  
"About an hour and a half?"  
"Excellent. You get started on the curry and I'll start... I'm guessing this is the living area, yes?" She didn't wait for him to answer before continuing, "I assume the curry will need to boil?" Again, she didn't wait for his reply, "when that happens, you can help me clean."  
She finally spared him a glance, eyebrow raised, daring him to defy her. He sighed heavily, "I'll get started."

She gave him a stern nod of approval before tossing the stack of paper littering his... "coffee table?" she guessed.  
At the scene of paper flying, Gray intoned, "I thought you were cleaning!"  
"There is a method. Don't question it. You, cook. Then help."  
He shook his head in both annoyance and amusement and began to raid his kitchen. He ignored the ruckus Erza was currently engaging in and focused on his task. He was determined to prepare her the best damn meal she will _**ever**_ have in her life.  
Now if only he could find that cutting board...

* * *

They stood at the doorway of the kitchen; their eyes darting back and forth from the kitchen and the living room, "I thought we were supposed to make my house cleaner, not... whatever this is," he gesture wildly at the mountain of junk.  
"It is cleaner. Look, you actually have a coffee table. And, did you know you have a lacrima screen? And it's pretty new too. And! You now have seats that you and your guests can sit on."  
"Except now, I can't leave my house because all this junk is blocking the exit."  
"Yes, that is a bit of a problem. But also, what did you do to the kitchen? You were supposed to be cooking not go through your cabinets like a starving bear looking for honey."  
"I... may have had some problems looking for the proper cooking equipment."  
"This curry better be worth it."  
"Oh, it is. _**It. Is.**_ Don't you worry about that. And it's almost done. So if you can just push some of this stuff off to the side, grab some bowls and spoons, we can eat."

He transferred the big pot of curry onto the small dining table and ladled out a healthy serving of curry for Erza and himself. She eyed it with suspicion. The last time she came face to face with a bowl of curry, she had to hug her toilet to sleep. She really didn't want to do that again. Her fears faded when she remembered that Gray was the one that made it. Gray wouldn't try to poison her. Would he?  
"You wouldn't try to poison me, would you?"

A spoonful of curry hung in midair. Gray's mouth was agape, ready to shovel the deliciousness into his waiting mouth. His eyes widened at her semi-serious question. He guided the spoon to finish its journey and swallowed before asking, "You can not be serious," he dropped his spoon into his bowl and looked at her seriously, "I'm not trying to poison you. As you just saw, I gobbled a massive spoonful of curry into my mouth hole. There's no poison."  
She continued to eye her bowl with apprehension, "Erza, just... try a tiny bit. I promise, it's not a big deal."

She took a deep breath and exhaled evenly. Taking the spoon, she scooped just enough curry for a taste test. Wanting to get it over with, she quickly devoured it. She cringed expecting the same kind of grossness she felt the first time she tried it but when it didn't come, she opened her eyes in surprise. This is good!  
"This is good!"  
Gray grinned, looking tremendously pleased with himself, "I should've bought a crow and make you eat it."  
"Oh, hush up. You got what you want and proved me wrong," she ate another spoonful and smiled, "This is really, _really_ good!"  
"You're damn right it is."  
She wanted to smack him for being so smug but she had better things to do. Like finishing this really damn good bowl of curry.

Gray was filling his now empty bowl with more when Erza asked, "So where did you learn how to make this anyway?"  
He smiled wistfully, "Ur used to make it for me and Lyon when we were training with her. After training all day in the freezing cold with no clothes on, you kind of need something hot to keep you warm. I watched her make it a few times. It's not quite like Ur's. It's pretty close but I've made it my own and it's pretty damn good if I can toot my own horn."  
She normally would have snarked at him for 'tooting his own horn' but after hearing the origins, she grinned and agreed, "toot away."

* * *

Hello, , we meet again. I just can't stay away can I?

It's a whole new series of adventures. Sort of. Maybe. I'll see how I feel about it. Until then...


	2. March: The Morning After

This may be the shortest thing I have ever written. And it's super, duper short because lazy (mostly) and everything is already in the text. No need for anything else. Enjoy!

* * *

 **Chapter Two: The Morning After**

She rubbed her forehead, trying to rid herself of the headache that was beginning to form at her temples. "How exactly did we end up in this situation?"  
He licked his dry lips as he too, was fighting the oncoming headache, "the same way we always do. We got _really_ fucking drunk."  
"I'm never drinking again," she moaned miserably.  
Shielding his eyes from the brightness, he groaned, "we make that promise every fucking time this happens. It only ever lasts a grand total of two days."  
"When did we turn into Cana?"  
"Sometime between the ages of 21 and 25?"  
"So... Now?"  
"Now."  
"We _really_ have to cut back on the drinking."  
"Master Makarov's birthday is coming up."  
"Oh, fuck me."  
"You sure that's what you want after last night?"  
"Figure of speech!"  
"You could have chosen a better one."  
"Oh, shut it. My head is pounding, my mouth feels like a desert. It's too early for this."  
"We did this. We have no one else to blame but ourselves. We were drunk. We said and did things we regret. Now we bear the consequences."  
"What is our life? How does this keep happening? I'm going to _kill_ Levy. She took advantage of our inebriated state!"  
He enthusiastically nodded in agreement; even though it felt like his head was going to fall off his neck. "You know what? You're right! She did take advantage! She knew better than to ask! **We were intoxicated**! We would have said yes to anything!"  
"Like mud wrestling with a forest vulcan."  
"Picking a fight with Laxus."  
"Destroying public property and incurring the wrath of Master Makarov."  
"Challenging **all** of the dragon slayers in the world to a no-holds-barred brawl."  
" _ **Simultaneously**_."  
"You know what? Fuck this shit. I say we get the hell out of here. Books are her thing. Levy can organize them her damn self!"  
"Yeah! What do I look like? A librarian? Forget this!" She paused and looked around her, "...maybe we should put the books back on the shelves before we go. I mean, this could be a fire hazard."  
"Good idea. But then we're leaving!"  
"Hell yeah!"

...They didn't leave.

* * *

There seems to be a theme thus far to my chapter titles and how each chapter starts. It hasn't gone the way you were expecting it in either one, has it? Ah, language is a beautiful thing.

Or maybe I'm just trolling you?

But anyway, two does not make a pattern.

Or does it? Hmmm

(it doesn't)


	3. April: Play the Game

**Chapter Three: Play the Game**

They walked shoulder to shoulder down the winding streets of Magnolia. "Okay, I admit... that was really, really fun," Gray's face glowed brightly.  
"A-ha! I knew you'd like it! Aren't you glad I convinced you to do this with me?"  
"Very, very much so. I don't think I've ever screamed as loudly as I did just now. My voice is going to be hoarse for days. I can feel it."

He shook his head in disbelief, "It was..." he struggled to describe exactly how he felt, "it was like an out of body experience. I mean, I didn't even think such a thing was possible!"  
She chuckled at his enthusiasm. It's always great fun to introduce people to new things.  
"Exhilarating! That's what it is! Yeah, exhilarating." He looked at her with wide, excited eyes, "when can we do that again?"  
"Oh, sweet naive Gray, if you think that was fun, you're in for a treat."  
His eyes widened to ridiculous proportions. He was equal parts excited and alarmed, "wha-what do you mean?"  
She laughed and it was borderline maniacal, "AH-HA-HA-HA, spectating is one thing. But as fun as that is, it's nothing compared to actual, physical participation!"  
He flushed in anticipation.

* * *

He laid sprawled out across the couch, moaning about his sore tailbone.  
She threw an ice pack at him and he gingerly pressed it against his lower back, "Sorry. I _may_ have been a bit... rough on you."  
" ** _May have been_**?! I thought I was going to die!"  
"Don't be so melodramatic."  
"Hey! I'm new to all this! I'm still grasping the basics." He pushed himself to a sitting position. "I still don't understand why I was tackled."  
"You were out of bounds."  
"You could have just said that instead of tackling me!"  
"How else are you supposed to learn?"  
"Uh, by explaining the rules to me?"  
"Rules don't mean anything until you see it in action. Come on, Gray, don't tell me you didn't enjoy yourself."  
He grumbled. Despite the battering his sore body took, he did have fun. Even more so than when he was watching the game with her. She was right; participating was even more fun than spectating. And spectating was ridiculously fun.

The aftermath of participating however, was painful.  
"Thunderball isn't a speculator's sport. It's meant to be played. You're meant to feel every hit. The adrenaline, the excitement. There's nothing better!" She puckered her lips and corrected herself, "well, maybe except kicking bad guy butt."  
"Well, that all may be true but how about we **don't** make this a common occurrence?"  
"I thought you had fun!"  
"I did. But instead of this being twice a week like you suggested, how about we make this a twice a _**month**_ type thing? I felt like a ping-pong ball. Everything hurts and nothing is okay."  
She pouted in disappointment, "party pooper. Fine, twice a month it is. Better than none a month, I suppose." She then smiled at him with pride, "you did rather well for a rookie. Didn't think you'd be able to keep up."  
"Well, after watching the pros, I got the general concept of the game. There's still some bits I don't understand but it's not too complicated."  
"The best way to learn is by playing the game. But the next best thing is watching it on the lacrima screen. The commentary by the play-by-play guys are really helpful. You pick up the nuances and terminology and if you wanna be a nerd, statistics."  
"I'll leave the nerd stuff to you. I think I'm going to take a steaming hot shower and pass out."  
"Oh Mavis, a hot shower sounds divine. I'd join you but I'm meeting Mira, Lucy, and Cana for drinks."  
"Pity. I guess I'll make due by my lonesome," he sighed dramatically.  
"You'll live. Take it easy. Wouldn't want you to die on me. Where would I get my curry fix?"  
He rolled his eyes and grumbled, "is that the only reason you keep me around?"  
She discreetly eyed him up and down, "for now. I'll see you tomorrow."

He ended up foregoing the shower and dragged himself off to bed; his bruised, sore, battered body _really_ needed to recuperate.

* * *

And that's three. A pattern it is.


	4. May: Harder

I hope this has been as much fun for you as it is for me. Ha, there I go again with the double entendres. I'm such a troll.

I apologize for nothing. _**NOTHING**_!

This is another short chapter. It's been a little difficult for me to get into and all I want to do is dialogue so you'll just have to fill in the blanks and use your imagination.

* * *

 **Chapter Four - Harder**

"Harder," she groaned.  
"Are you sure about that? I don't want to br-"  
"You're not going to break anything. Now harder."  
"But-"  
"Oh, for the love- Gray! Put your back into it!"  
"Why don't _you_ put _your_ back into it?"  
She glared at him and he shuddered, "I mean, I'll put my back into it."  
He reluctantly smacked harder but only slightly and that elicited another frustrated groan, "I said harder!"  
"I did go harder!"  
"Well, that was pathetic. Twelve year old me can smack harder than that," she grumbled not so quietly.  
He gaped at her, "you know what? Our power levels have narrowed considerably so I don't appreciate particular comment!"  
"Doesn't look like our power levels have narrowed at all, noodle arms."  
He fumed at that, "okay, fine. You want hard? I'll give you hard!" He forcibly brought down his arm in quick succession and she grinned in triumph.

Gray began to cough and bat his hands; as if he were warding off a swarm of mosquitoes, "see?! You see this? This is why I didn't want to smack it so hard!"  
"Relax. It's just a little dust."  
"That was not a little dust! That was a lot of dust! A LOT."  
"Well, at the very least now I know you can hit harder than 12 year old me."  
"Erza..."  
"Anyway, good job."  
He tossed the stick to the side and stood next to her, "I don't see why this is necessary anyway. Just give Lucy the damn rug. There's no need to beat the damn thing."  
"Of course there's a need! I'm not going to give Lucy a dirty rug! What am I, a barbarian?  
"It stupid."  
"You're just upset because instead of inviting you to watch Thunderball, I asked you to do this."  
"Yes! Yes, I am!"  
"Well, I needed help! My arm is still healing after breaking it because of yours and Natsu's fight!"  
"You know, you can only milk that for so long before I stop feeling guilty about it."  
"And until then, I'm going to continue to milk it."

Gray frowned, folded his arms across his chest, and leaned back against the tree, "why are you giving this thing to Lucy anyway?"  
"I need to get rid of some stuff. The new house won't fit all this and she wanted it. I don't want to throw it away if I don't have to."  
"I can't believe you're moving." He sighed and then frowned, "I'm going to have to help with that too, aren't I."  
"Yep!"  
"Fucking brilliant."

* * *

To be honest, I didn't think I'd have enough troll material beyond three chapters. But then inspiration struck and that pleases me greatly.


	5. June: Girlfriend

It's been a while. Enjoy.

* * *

He had started to nod off when an urgent knock jolted him awake. He rubbed his rough hands over his face, clearing the fog from his aborted sleep. He cleared his throat, "who is it?"  
"It's me. Open up."  
"Ca-" she slipped past him quickly, "you're naked."  
"I've been gone two weeks. I'm horny."  
"You need to find a boyfriend."  
"Ugh, but that's so much work that I don't want to do." She looked at him in bewilderment, "what's up with you?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"You still fully clothed."  
He looked down and found that he really was. She gasped and twittered in excitement, "OHMYMAVIS, GRAY! Did you get a girlfriend while I was gone?"  
He spluttered at that, "of course not!"  
"You liar. You can't fool me! Look at you!"  
"I don't have a girlfriend! ...But I am working on it."  
"HA! I knew it!" She bounced on the balls of her feet and clapped gleefully, "who is it? Oh! Is it Juvia? I bet it's Juvia!"  
Gray rolled his eyes, "it's not Juvia. We're just friends. As I keep saying over and o- Can you please put something on? I can't talk to you seriously with your tits flying around like that."  
"What? This distracts you?"  
"I'm a guy! Of course it distracts me! I'm not a sexless robot!"  
She pouted, "But I like having my tits out. It's nice and cool against the air."  
"Yeah, I've noticed..."  
She sighed and reluctantly put on her bikini top, "better?"  
"Minimally," he mumbled beneath his breath.  
"What do you want me to do? Wear a raincoat?"  
"Do you have one?"  
"Don't even. That even sounds unattractive."

She puckered her lips and pondered, "okay, so if it's not Juvia, then... is it Lucy?"  
"Lucy? Are you crazy?"  
"What's wrong with Lucy?"  
"Nothing. But she's... she's Lucy."  
"I just thought since you guys are so close and you're teammates that, you know..."  
"Well you can stop that line of reasoning right there. It's not Lucy."  
"Well, the only other woman you hang out with is Erza and you're not crazy enough to-" she stopped short when she saw his eyes widen slightly and his body shifted in discomfort. "OHMYMAVIS, IT IS ERZA!"  
"Look, it's not a big deal."  
"Not a big deal?! It's a big fucking deal! This is you! And Erza! Erza Scarlet. Titania. Queen of the Fairies! We are talking about the same Erza, yes?"  
"You're making a bigger deal than it has to be..."

She slugged his gently on his shoulder, "it's about damn time," she smiled at him. "I love it when I'm right!"  
"Right? Right about what?"  
"Do you remember what we were doing the day Erza first came to Fairy Tail? You were having your fortune read and I said it was your lucky day."  
"Yeah, so what? You were wrong."  
She slugged him again, this time a bit harder, "I wasn't wrong. I'm never wrong. It was your lucky day because that was the day Erza waltzed into our lives, _**your**_ life, and permanently made a home here."  
"Wait, are you trying to say your cards predicted me and Erza?"  
"Are you an idiot? My cards aren't some cheap parlor trick! It was your lucky day regardless of what happens with you and Erza because of Erza. Because you met her. Because you became friends with her. My cards can't tell me about destinies and what have you. You do that your damn self. It just told me that she is and will always be an important person in your life whether it's as a friend or lover. So no, my cards didn't say you and Erza are fated to be together. " She shrugged carelessly, "after all, she still has to agree to go out with you. And you have your work cut out for you. This is Erza."  
"So you keep reminding me."  
"This is so exciting!"  
"Just two minutes ago, you said I was crazy!"  
"Oh, it still is. But it's _**Erza**_! This is so exciting and riveting and- ohmyMavis, I think I'm turning into Mira."  
"It's a little disconcerting."  
"I should go home and snuggle up with a bottle."  
"I thought you were horny?"  
She shrugged, "I still am. But I'm not about to have sex with you after all this!"  
He rolled his eyes at her implication, "that wasn't what I meant. Like, at all."  
She winked at him, "I know. I've got hands. I can take care of myself."

She walked toward the door to let herself out, "Gray and Erza," she chuckled.  
"Like you said, it doesn't mean shit if she doesn't agree to it."  
"Yeah. Still though... it's just too rich. Maybe I'm delirious?"  
"All right, you've had your fun. You can just get out now."  
"Yeah, yeah. Good night, lover boy."

* * *

Well, I think the trolling ends here.  
...Or does it?  
Probably, yes.

I make no promises. I'm a known liar. Beware. BELIEVE NOTHING!


	6. July: Housewarming

I have been neglecting this because I've been consumed with Free! So my apologies.  
Also, do feel _free_ to check that out if you're interested. (Did you see what I did there? Did you? Yeah, you did.)

This fic is coming to an end. I really only have one chapter let in me. At least, I'm pretty sure there will be one chapter left. I haven't started on the final chapter yet so it may take a while to update. Or maybe not. I don't know. It all depends. Half the time, I don't know what I'm doing.

But until then, thanks for all the kind words and love. Enjoy!

* * *

"The guild is filled by a bunch of animals," he grumbled as he picked up an upturned plastic cup from the floor. "They're your friends," she admonished.  
"They're disgusting."  
"You're just upset because you were left behind to help me clean up. You should have gotten drunk. I would have let you off the hook."  
"Now you tell me," he mutter darkly.  
The bags quickly filled with trash. She mopped up the spilled alcohol thanks to the small fight that erupted between Gajeel and Natsu but was quickly aborted by Erza's death glare. Gray puttered around picking up stray items and straightening up. He moved to return the crystalline cat back on the bookshelf when a book skittered across the floor from having kicked it. Curiously he picked it up, and flipped it over. His eyes scanned over the summary and his brow quirked up. He glanced over at Erza who had her back to him still mopping up and smirked. So Erza was into this kind of thing? Interesting.

"He gasped at the warm tongue that lapped at his hardened nipple," he recited. Erza froze at the familiar words spilling from Gray's mouth. "He desperately wanted to touch him but with his own hands bound, he bit the inside of his mouth to stop the soft moan from escaping but failed when the tongue trailed down his stomach, stopping at the waistband of hi—" A pillow smacked him in the face. "Give that back," she gritted. "But I'm just getting to the best part!"  
"Gray," she growled in warning, "give. It. Back."  
He coyly defied her, "no." She bolted at him; his arm slipping from her fingers when he spun from her reach. "His pants. His hand hovered over his erection, wanting to hear him beg for his touch," he continued to read. She lunged at him but he was able to dodge her again and again. He kept up with his reading all while dodging her until he stumbled into her bedroom. The slight stumble was all she needed to catch him. She pounced at his legs and he slammed into the floor.  
Hard.

He groaned as his hip crashed against the hard wood floor. Unwilling to be caught, he crawled across the floor but Erza climbing up his body hindered him from any real progress. Giving up, he flipped onto his back, keeping the book behind his back and away from Erza. "You are such an _ASS_ , Gray!"  
Her elbow was digging into his chest as she tried to pry the book from behind him. "Ow! Erza, your elbow!" She thumped her elbow at his sternum, "you deserve it. Now give it back!" He brought the book over his head, stretching just out of her reach. She scrambled over him and finally snatched it out of his hands. She sat squarely on his chest, fuming at him. He squeezed her knee lightly, "don't be mad."  
"You're making fun of me!"  
"I'm _teasing_ you. There's a difference."  
"You're a dick."  
"I know. I'm sorry." He apologized sincerely even though his eyes still sparkled at having discovered her secret. Annoyed, she kneed his ribs, "jerk."  
He wriggled up so she was perched on top of his thighs instead of his chest.

He folded his arms behind his head. "I never would have thought you'd be interested in such things."  
Erza's face flushed and she tossed the book to the side, "it's nothing."  
"Oh, don't be embarrassed, Erza. Everyone indulges in smut every once in a while."  
"Please stop talking."  
"You know what's better than reading smut though?"  
"I don't like where this is going..."  
"Participating in it!"  
"Annnnd I'm done."

She shifted to get off him but Gray caught her hand. "You wanna have coffee with me tomorrow?"  
"What?" She was incredulous at the out of the blue question. "Actually, how about breakfast instead?"  
"What?" Her incredulity not dissipating. "I"m asking you on a date, Erza," he clarified bluntly.  
She gawped at him for several seconds before she formed a coherent sentence. "I thought you and Cana were..."  
His eyes widened, "Oh Mavis, no. Cana and I are just friends." He hesitated. "Well, I mean, we've had sex, sure. But I don't like her." He paused and corrected, "I mean, I like her but I don't _like_ her. Obviously we're physically attracted to one another but there is zero romantic attraction. Like none. At all."  
"Oh."  
"How'd you know about that anyway?"  
"Just assume I know everything, Gray. It's safer that way."  
"An all knowing Erza. As if you weren't terrifying before."  
"So you and Cana aren't-"  
"Nooo," he interrupted. "We had an arrangement but that arrangement hasn't been arranged in... I want to say, 6 months?"  
"Oh."  
"So breakfast?"  
She stared at him while she contemplated before finally deciding, "I'll pick you up. You better be up when I get there."  
He grinned lopsidedly at her, "I'll set my alarm for the crack of dawn."

* * *

Yeah, that's right. Erza reads gay smut. Problem?


	7. August: Cake

I am delighted, _absolutely delighted_ that you enjoyed the bit about Erza because really, who wouldn't?

Last chapter is also the longest.

* * *

 **Chapter 7: Cake**

She sighed in frustration. Flour dusted over her cheeks. She whined at the mess that exploded in her kitchen. Her front door sliding open pulled her out of her irritation.  
"Gray?" She asked in confusion. "What are you doing here?"  
He paused at the door before closing it gently, "what are you doing out of bed?" He quickly crossed the room and pressed the back of his hand to her forehead, "well, your fever is gone. You should still be in bed though."  
She sighed in relief at his cool hand, "I'm fine. I'm sick of being in bed."  
"Erza, you had the flu. You need to replenish."  
"I've replenished plenty." Gray sighed, knowing better than to argue with her and instead took in the mess of her kitchen, "what's going on here?"  
"Nothing," she mumbling.  
"Nothing? Then why does it look like a vulcan ripped through your _usually_ pristine kitchen?"  
"I wanted to bake a cake," she pouted prettily. "To thank you for taking care of me."  
Gray, clearly not expecting such an answer, flushed, "it's not a big deal. Don't worry about it."  
"Still…"

Gray chuckled and moved next to her, "how can I help?" She shooed him away, "I can't have you help me make your own cake!"  
"Erza, your kitchen is a disaster area." She growled at that, "shut up."  
He ignored her, "you need to mix all your dry ingredients first. Then mix your wet ingredients. And then slowly mix your dry mix into the wet mix." She glared at him. She hated how much sense that made, "I thought you only cooked curry and chicken soup."  
"Well, yeah but that doesn't mean I don't know the basics of cake baking." She moved to do what he said both reluctantly and eagerly. His hip leaned on the counter, watching her work in concentration. She moved to add sugar to the mix when he grasped her wrist. She gasped and he plucked the container from her hand, unappreciative of his sudden grip. "That's not sugar, Erza." She glanced at the container, "it's salt." Her eyes widened and slowly lowered the container. He handed her the correct container.

He went to move to her side when he slipped on a puddle of milk Erza had spilled earlier and landed on his back with a painful slam. "Gray!" She quickly bent over him, "are you okay?" He groaned and rolled to his side, "why am I always slamming into the floor when I'm here?"  
She snickered, "my house must not like you very much." He sat up, "it's not funny."  
"Sorry." She looked at his drenched clothing and helped him up, "you know where the bathroom is. Go clean up."  
He dragged his feet over to the bathroom, stripping as he went. She shook her head and returned to mixing her ingredients. After several minutes, she moved on to starting her wet mix when she heard a knock. Grabbing a washcloth, she wiped down her hands and went to answer the front door.

It was Cana and Mira.

"What are you guys doing here?"  
"Came to check up on you. Duh."  
"And to also check up on Gray." Mira nodded, "yeah, have you seen him? We wanted to make sure he's feeling all right."  
"What do you mean?" Erza has been out of it the last week but she wasn't able to piece together what they were saying. "Gray. He's been a mess the last couple of days. I think he caught whatever bug you had."  
"We volunteered to watch over you in his place while he recuperated but he refused it. The idiot. He looked like he was knocking on Death's door."  
"Poor guy. He must be so tired."  
"He.. he got sick?" She murmured to herself, "he didn't say." Cana shrugged, "anyway, if you see him, maybe you can knock some sense into him. Get him to rest or something. We're gonna head out." She sluggishly bid them farewell, still dazed by the reveal that Gray had been sick as well.

She closed the door quietly and stood here, her mind running a thousand mile a minute with whys and making sense of what Cana and Mira had said. When she turned around, the man in question was leaning against the wall. "You got sick," she whispered, "I got you sick."  
"It's nothing."  
"It's not nothing, Gray. You got sick taking care of me and you continued to take care of me after that."  
He nodded. There was no point in denying it, "I did."  
"Why?"  
He pushed himself off the wall and slowly approached her, not wanting to startle her as her mind continued to work furiously, "you know _why_ , Erza," his voice rumbled quietly, deeply.

And in that instant she did.

She moved quickly, pulling Gray down to meet her lips. The kiss was needy with want, Gray nipping at her lips while her hands roamed to squeeze his ass. He parted his lips in a silent gasp and she slipped her tongue into him; tasting the insides of his mouth and curling her tongue to stroke the roof of his mouth and the backs of his teeth. He stumbled, guiding her to the wall, needing something sturdy to hold them up.

He pulled away, pressing his forehead to her own, "I'm still sick. You just got better. Don't wanna get you sick again," he muttered against her cheek. "Don't care. Worth it." And then they're back to kissing desperately. Every moan and gasp mentally cataloged for further exploration. She rose to her toes, wanting to climb up his body to get closer to him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her up easily. Sighing happily, she wrapped her legs around him as he pushed her further into the wall. His lips trailed down her throat, nipping playfully along the way. He grinned against her soft skin at her mewling, his cock hardening further at the knowledge that _he_ was the reason for her clawing at his back.

"Bedroom," he felt her gasp against his lips and obligingly strode to her room, kicking the door open and tumbling onto the bed. He rubbed himself against her, seeking relief from the painful throbbing of his cock but to no avail. She pushed him up so that he hovered over her. Quickly whipping off her shirt, she then moved to push her pajama bottoms over her hips when he stopped her; wanting to peel them off himself. Wanting to take his time to tease her but not possessing the patience to do so, he yanked her bottom and underwear off in one fluid motion. They can do the slow and teasing later.

And just as quickly as he divested her of her clothes, his head was between her legs. His lips brushing, teeth gnawing, and tongue licking at her pale inner thigh. She panted, her head thrown back into the mattress. She instantly knew that there was going to be a bruise before they were done but she couldn't bring herself to care. She'll pay him back in kind later. She became restless; hands grasping and releasing the sheets while her legs tried to coax him closer. He rubbed his cheek and nose against her thigh until she groaned in frustration, "Gray… please… _please_."

Satisfied that she'd been sufficiently teased (for now), he lapped at her; his tongue gently probing her folds until he found her hardened nub. He flicked at her clit and her low moans turned into a strangled cry. He suckled at her, drawing her into his mouth while his tongue continued to swipe at the sensitive bud. Her hands flew to his hair and her thighs clamped down around him, holding him to her. He dragged his teeth over her and her body stiffened and her cries, while muffled, still rang loudly in his ears.

He tried to maneuver the best he could with his head locked between her legs and ran the tip of his tongue along her slit; tasting her. Above him, she thrashed as he slid the wet muscle into her; wriggling and curling into her as deep as he could. He buried his face between her thighs, his nose bumping against her clit. She was teetering on the edge and then she was falling apart at the intrusion of his questing fingers; bathing his tongue in her juices. He continued to lick at her, cleaning her as she came down from her high. Her hold on him loosening and with one last lash of the tongue, he pulled away.

She lied there, gasping for breath when she heard the clink of metal from his belt coming undone. And all of a sudden, the only thing she could hear was the sound of the zipper echoing loudly in her ears. He undid himself slowly, almost seductively, and tossed his trousers onto the growing pile by the bed. He crawled over her and she instinctually parted her legs for him; his hands skimming over her stomach as she curled her legs around his calves.

"Condom," he swallowed roughly at the sight beneath him: Erza naked, flushed, and wanton with various red and purple splotches and bites and hickeys littering her pale skin. "Drawer." He reached over to the night stand, "other drawer," she clarified. He sighed and reached over to the left. He rooted around until he felt the box he was looking for. He scanned the package and noticed the expiration, "Erza, these are going to expire in two weeks..."  
"Really?" She took the box from him and upon examination, he was right. "Guess we'll just have to use it all up before then."  
The box was untouched except for maybe two or three.  
He grinned, "I love how your brain thinks."  
"Well, I just wouldn't want it to go to waste."  
"No, that would be reprehensible." He ripped through the packaging and tore one off, setting the rest to the side. He carefully ripped open the square foil and rolled the thin rubber over his member. He slid his fingers into her again, thrusting in and out until she was slick and writhing again.

All of a sudden, he finds himself on his back with Erza perched on his lap, fingers still miraculously buried into her. She bit her lip in concentration, trying not to cry out as she thrust herself on his fingers. He reached up with his other hand, thumb gently rubbing her lip, "don't do that. I want to hear you," his voice was shaky but husky. Her lips were red and swollen by the combination of their harsh kisses and chewing. Her mouth fell open in a loud moan when he simultaneously plucked at a hard nipple and curled his long fingers, brushing against the bundle of nerves.

But then she pulled herself off his fingers, seeking something thicker, something bigger to fill and stretch her. She reached for him, positioning herself and instead of slowly sinking onto him that he was expecting, she impaled herself hard and fast onto him. His choked groan died at the back of his throat, his hips bucking off the bed. His fingers dug into her hips, "fuck, you're so tight."

She rose up until she was almost off him before slamming back down; dual moans filling the room. "Maybe you're just really big," she retorted. His chuckle rumbled through her, sending shivers through her body. "You sure know how to stroke a guy's ego."  
"That's not all I know how to stroke," she grinned mischievously. He groaned at that as all the possibilities quickly flashed through his mind. He watched her rise and fall onto him, her breasts swaying as she rode him and he suddenly wanted, no needed to have his mouth on her. He pushed himself up to sit, palming her breast before licking and suckling at her, wanting to mar her delicate skin further. Her hips jerked at his ministrations and then his fingers slid between their bodies, expertly locating her clit and rubbing it before giving it a rough tug and twist.

She came harder than she did the first time, clamping down tightly around him as his name fell from her lips. She whimpered as she continued to ride him. He pumped his hips up at her, "squeeze me, Erza." She mustered all her remaining strength and clenched around him and with one final thrust, he came with her name tearing through his throat.

She slid off of him, collapsing on her side; his softening cock slipping out of her easily. He flopped back onto the bed after rolling and tying the condom off before disposing it in the waste by the bed. She stumbled to the bathroom and reappeared shortly with some warm towels. They cleaned each other up; wiping the the sweat and stickiness from their bodies. She curled up against his side sighing contently before drifting off to sleep.

...Until a hacking cough seized her body.

...Bastard got her sick again.

…Still worth it.

* * *

Phew. That's it. It was the two week expiration idea that was rattling around my head that started this whole thing. So once again, I was working backwards on this. I got a wee bit lazy but I don't think it's too noticeable. Also, I'm not a play-by-play commentator.

To all the wonderful readers, followers, and commenters, thank you for reading, following, and commenting through out this whole thing.  
Praise be. (John Oliver'd)

Until next time!  
Or not. I don't control my brain.


End file.
